Who wants to be an Authoritative parent?
As you all know, parenting isn’t an exact technology or science. It’s definitely an art ….yes the art of parenting.
Researchers and Psychologists consistently agrees that authoritative parents raise happier, confident and healthier children who are equipped to face real life challenges.
And it’s great to hear that, all are capable to become a authoritative parent, provided you try to follow these 11 strategies that will help you become a more authoritative parent:
1.Lend an ear to your child
Listen to what your child want to convey, whether it is his opinion, concern or idea. Though authoritarian and authoritative sounds similar, authoritative parents should not follow the thumb rule of an authoritarian parent who believe children should be seen and not heard, authoritative parents should welcome their children’s opinions.
Be a good listener, whether your child is telling you a story the 10th time or he is just sharing his experience in school function. What even it may be, listen to him, be attentive and this in long run encourage him to share everything with you.
Acknowledge your child’s feelings that will help him label his emotions and teach him to recognize how his feelings affect his behavior.
So when next time your child gets upset, resist under estimating your child’s feelings by saying, “Stop crying”, “It’s not a big deal,” or There’s no reason to get upset. It might be a big deal for him, not for you. Validate and acknowledge his feelings by saying, “I know you are really upset right now.”
Correct his behavior, but not his emotions. Tell him it’s alright to feel irritated or angry, but tell him the consequences for hitting himself. Or it’s alright to feel happy and excited but running inside a grocery store is not the right way. Then, try to invest some time to teaching him socially acceptable ways to deal with his feelings.
3.Set up clear cut rules
Authoritative parents establish some clear cut household rules. They make sure children know their expectations and they clarify the reasons behind their rules.
Therefore instead of saying, “Eat that egg now” tell them “Egg provides proteins, that will help your body to grow and be strong”
When your child starts to understand the underlying health hazards, safety concerns, social and moral issues behind your rules, he’ll develop a better understanding of the life. And he will be more likely to follow the rules even when you aren’t there to enforce them.
4.Warning for small Issues
Authoritative parents give immediate penalty for violating rules. If a child break a rule, he may lose a privilege or he may be send to a time-out area.
But for minor issues, just offer a warning. Tell your child if they don’t change their behavior, what the consequence will be .
Hence don’t waste your time saying useless things like, “Don’t make me tell you again!” instead say, “If you wish to play with your favorite toy , pick up that spilled crackers now.”
Show your child that, ‘you do what you say and you say what you do’. Avoid multiple warnings. Repeating warnings train your child not to listen the first time itself.
5.Punishments for life lessons
Authoritative parents don’t allow children to suffer for their mistakes. They avoid embarrassing children and they don’t use physical punishment.
They also don’t use blame words or say, “You are so disappointing.” They help their child realize that he made a bad choice, but he’s not a bad person.
Create punishment that will help your child learn to do better in the future. If he hits his sibling, don’t hit him back. Instead, take away a privilege. Then, focus on training him better anger management.
Ask, “What do you prefer to do next time, when you get offended so you don’t hit?” Then, talk about his options and solutions to teach him alternatives to hitting.
Make punishments time responsive too. Instead of saying, “You can have your soccer ball back when I feel I can trust you” say, “You can play soccer again once you can show me that you’re responsible. You can show me you are responsible for completing your chores and homework done on time every day this week.”
Authoritative parent use rewards to motivate children, that doesn’t mean they provide kids with expensive gifts. Instead, when a child is struggling with a specific behavioral issue, use incentives to help a child get back on track. For instance:
- A preschooler refuses to eat his lunch. Create a sticker chart and he earns one sticker each time he finish his lunch.
- A 8-year-old is very lazy and slow to get ready for school in the morning. Set a timer every morning and if he is ready before the timer goes off, he gets the opportunity to play for half an hour more that day.
7.Little Choices for your little one
Provide options over little choices. This will empower children and make them better decision makers in future
Try to give small choices like, “Do you want carrot or corn?” or “When do you plan to arrange your desk, before or after dinner?”
Expect your children to be responsible and set them for success. For instance:
If your child often forgets to pack all the items he needs for school. Create a checklist for him. Before heading going to school make sure he goes through the check list and ensures.
If your child struggles with something, create a behavior management plan to make your child become more independent.
Offer additional support initially, but be sure that he is not becoming more dependent on you. Over time, he should be independent.
9.Learn from mistakes
Don’t humiliate your child for making mistakes. Instead, you can help him to make out how to turn that mistake into a learning opportunity.
So when your child makes a mistake, explain why his behavior was a bad choice. Say something like, “Its wrong to take things that don’t belongs to you”.
When your child hurts someone, help him understand that the other person gets hurt with his feeling and they will think he is mean and help him to apologize to the person whom he offended.
Don’t calm your child every time he’s disturbed or upset. Teach him self soothing and to calm himself.
Build a behavior management plan that focuses on training life skills. Anger management and self discipline will serve him well throughout his life.
11.Maintain a Healthy Relationship With Your Child
Don’t shout your orders and insist obedience. Instead, it’s all about being a good role model and training children with life skills.
Show your affection and love toward your children, know it’s important to nurture them.
Provide your child with undivided attention by setting aside a few minutes every day—even on the days he misbehaves. Quality time spend with your child will help him feel loved and accepted, which is the key to help him feel happy, possess high self-esteem and successful
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